We had a really nice Thanksgiving, but at the end of the day mostly I found myself just very overwhelmed with the thought of going into labor and having a 4th child. Will there be a snow storm? Will it be the middle of the night? Will I even make it there? And then of course how in the world will this work once I get home.
Just now I was so tired that I actually sad down on the couch (I spend a surprising amount of time on my feet). Somehow it took me several minutes to realize that I was being sandwiched by Everest and Calder. I don't know how long they'd been there but they were just sitting quietly with their heads against my arms. Wow.
And this is what I decided. The fact that I will have 4 kids 5 and under doesn't mean that I have it harder than anyone else. Its just that my "trials" are more obvious, which is why people ALWAYS ask me "How in the world do you do this?" or "This wasn't planned was it??" or "How do you stay SANE!". I have the same moments as everyone else where I think I can't do this any longer or life is never going to get easier. But then I have moments like this one, where I think if I'm going to have to go through something very difficult, at least they really love me. It could definitely be worse. I'm sorry for those of you who are going through difficult things with seemingly no rewards (for now). I just hope that when my life calms down a little I'll be aware of what people around me are going through so I can help!
5 comments:
My oldest was 4.5 when my fourth was born. No twins but my first three were born within 2.5 years. Those were hard days but I survived, and I think it does get easier!
<3
You ARE brave! And this too shall pass. In just a couple of years you will not only have an absolutely amazing family (and basketball team + cheerleader) but will suddenly wonder why their rooms are empty except for all their old yearbooks... It goes by so fast! Hang in there! It will ALL be worth it, every second of it! Would you even believe me if I told you that I sort of envy you in a way?
I'm sorry Whitney. I wish I could lighten your load somehow. Maybe we could trade trials. I dreamed last night that I was pregnant and when I woke up I was sad it wasn't true. Heavenly Father sends us trials because we can handle them and I think you are doing a great job. If you ever want inspiration or ideas on how to do the twin things my friend Kasey at one time had 5 kids under the age of 3 (two sets of twins less than a year apart plus one more). Totally unplanned. http://wardellwonders.blogspot.com/
She, like you, is one of the mom's I think about when I need inspiration.
So, I know you just hada baby and all, but I am anxiously awaiting an update...
So, I know you just hada baby and all, but I am anxiously awaiting an update...
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